


Undeniably Pale

by TheNarator



Series: Homestuck Rarepairs [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Mild Angst, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNarator/pseuds/TheNarator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Equius is worried that his meowrail might be pale for someone else! He must have forgotten that she's a shipper . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undeniably Pale

Equius was skulking. He shouldn't be skulking, and he knew that, but it couldn't be helped. He was gathering information which might be vital to the survival of the whole group, and even though the method was distasteful, the outcome was necessary.

He had to find out what Nepeta was up to.

Things had changed for the trolls since they arrived in the new session, the meteor crash-landing on LOMAX miraculously right-side up and sticking immovably into the ground. For one thing the Maid of Life had lived up to her title, and all who had died on the meteor were restored. This had necessitated some adjustments, as those that had been dead got used to being free of the dream bubbles and those that had been survivors had to learn to live with people they had either killed or watched kill someone else. There had been betrayals in that dark time, waiting for Jack Noir to find them and not knowing if any of them would survive, and they all had to re-learn how to deal with each other. Gamzee's moirallegiance with Karkat seemed to keep him stable enough and Kanaya had confiscated Eridan's wand, so the two biggest threats had been removed, but trust is fragile thing, and repairing it was proving difficult.

Most of all though they had to learn how to deal with the humans. They quickly discovered that humans were very different creatures from trolls. They were more social, relied more on each other, which was a concept entirely incompatible with the fact that they had no quadrant system. The only two that even knew trolls quadrants were Dirk and Roxy, who had grown up with them, but Roxy seemed just like every other human in that she focused almost exclusively on redrom and concupiscent relationships were more important to her than conciliatory ones. Dirk, however, was another matter.

Dirk had acknowledged the importance of all four quadrants, and had talked with Karkat at length about them. He understood the necessity for both redrom and blackrom, and while his failed matespritship with Jake seemed to have put him off worrying about concupiscent relationships for now, he had admitted that conciliatory relationships were still an option for him.

Which was what made it all the more disturbing that he was pale-flirting with Nepeta.

Not overtly of course, and not in mixed company either. He always made sure to wait until he thought Equius was out of the room before talking to her, correcting her stance as she tried to learn the use of some of the humans' weapons and chatting amicably about the best way to take down skeletons. They were always close together when the talked, quiet and private, and occasionally Dirk would fall easily into casual RP with her. Dirk made it seem perfectly harmless when he played with her tail or stole her hat, and they way she giggled and batted his hand and _let him_  made Equius's stomach churn. What he hated most though was when they talked about her time as Fefetasprite, before Equius had become a sprite as well. He hated that Dirk had shared time with her that he had been denied, that she had been part of an entity that was meant to guide and protect him while her moirail was stranded in the dream bubbles without her.

She'd started getting more and more distant with Equius too, making up excuses not to spend time with him when he knew she was going to see Dirk. She was caring less and less if he saw them together, and she would even bat gently at Dirk's face while Equius was looking, papping him with no shame at all. Equius needed his moirail, needed her to stay sane enough not to murder their lowblooded cohorts at the first backhanded remark, and without her . . . he didn't want to think about it.

The worst part was that he knew he deserved it. If Nepeta wanted to break up with him she was well within her rights. He had failed to protect her in the worst possible way, had let his fanatically devotion to the highblood blind him to his responsibilities and allowed them both to be killed. He didn't deserve Nepeta's pity, and destined moirails or not, he was weakening his claim on her pale quadrant more and more as he sneaked another look around the corner, spying on her as she sat with Dirk in an isolated corner of the meteor.

The room was small, cluttered with the robot parts Equius had abandoned after his death and which had been scavenged by Dirk for his own projects. The human was sitting on the floor, his back to Equius as he worked on something in his lap, and Nepeta was laying on her side curled around his waist, with her head resting next to one of his knees.

“AC watches as the ridiculous human purrtends that nothing is on his mind,” she purred, making her moirail's heart clench. Never had he wanted to engage in her ridiculous games so badly.

“TT continues with his work, not even bothering to pretend that he has any idea what the adorable cat-girl is talking about,” Dirk replied coolly, apparently not looking at her as he held true to his own narration.

Nepeta nudged his leg with her forehead. “The furrocious huntress does not buy TT's story for one minute. She knows that he is not working on purrojects just for his own amewsment, and is using them for an excuse not to talk to someone.”

“TT thinks that the ferocious huntress should maybe mind her own business,” Dirk retorted, but she batted at his knee and he sighed. “However, he is willing to grudgingly admit that she may not be as far off the mark as he would like to pretend.”

Equius ground his teeth in frustration, fighting the urge to punch something. Preferably Dirk, for being so ungrateful for Nepeta's attempts to help him. Even though that wasn't what Equius wanted. Fiddlesticks.

“AC is entirely unsurprised,” Nepeta replied, preening slightly, “and wonders if purrhaps TT is finally ready to discuss his feelings with a certain someone.”

Dirk paused in his work, ceasing whatever he was doing with the tool he'd been using but not putting it down.

“TT . . . has made some mistakes lately,” he confessed slowly, “particularly in relation to his quadrants and other relationships. He wonders if his _life_  is really ready for the step to which AC is referring.”

Nepeta giggled, but Equius couldn't see what was funny. “AC reminds TT that he is a pawsitively purrfect furiend, and that lots of other people think so too. He may have made hisstakes, but talking to this purrson may help to refurs them.”

“There is no way to reverse TT's mistakes,” Dirk countered sadly. “However, the ferocious feline may be right in thinking that the only way to make things any better between himself and this person is to talk to her.”

Equius broke out in a cold sweat. Her? Was he referring to Nepeta? What did he need to talk to her about? No! No talking must occur between them! If he hadn't been so intent on not letting himself be seen he would have shouted that he expressly forbid any talking between Nepeta and the human ever again.

Nepeta straightened up, pulling herself into a sitting position at Dirk's side, and Equius pulled himself back behind the door frame, not wanting to be seen.

“AC reminds TT that time is of the essence,” Equius heard Nepeta's voice from inside the room. “If he is going to confess his pale feelings to his potential meowrail, now would be the time.”

Equius's heart nearly stopped. Pale feelings. Meowrails. Nepeta was referring to a declaration of pity. That she wanted to occur right now! Nepeta – dear, sweet, innocent Nepeta – was soliciting a proposal of moirallegiance from the human, an opportunity which anyone in their right mind would seize, and there was nothing Equius could do to stop it. She was going to be Dirk's meowrail, and she was going to leave Equius completely alone.

There was a clatter from inside the room, as though of Dirk's tool falling to the floor, and then the sound of Nepeta giggling in the way that meant something ridiculously over-dramatic had amused her.

Then, like some horrible day-terror, he heard the two most awful words he could imagine. “You're right.”

Equius could take no more of this. Without waiting to hear Dirk's confession, or the sound of shooshes and paps that would signal the start of his eternal loneliness, he turned from the doorway and fled.

He wandered the corridors on the meteor for some time after that. His mind was numb, and his body felt much too heavy all of a sudden. He wasn't sure how much time passed while he was drifting vaguely through identical hallways, but while it probably wasn't long it felt like forever. Knowing that it didn't matter where he went, that no matter where he ended up there would be no one to come looking for him, made every destination equally unappealing. He didn't want to go to his respite block with the pile of robot parts he'd shared with her, or the lab to see the computer she'd used, or anywhere else that held memories of her, which encompassed pretty much the extent of everywhere it was possible to go.

He couldn't live like this. Without Nepeta there was nothing to live for. Once there had been his obsession with the highblood, and his misguided infatuation with Aradia, but neither of those has any lasting appeal, the capability to center him like Nepeta did. Neither interest had manage to survive a sweep and a half of being dead without dwindling almost to nothing, and he couldn't help but feel like the Maid of Life had been mistaken in resurrecting him.

Wait. Yes! The Maid! She was the closest thing the humans had to a highblood, the leader of their session. It was to her that they all owed their lives, and she had even mentioned being an “heiress” in her own world. Surely if anyone were in a position to reign in one of the humans it would be her. Nepeta had not broken up with him yet, which meant Dirk was making advances on a quadrant which was spoken for. This had to be grounds for her to reprimand him, maybe even order him away from Nepeta altogether.

It was a bit underhanded, and for that he felt a little guilty, but he had to try.

Equius found Jane Crocker baking a cake in her hive. It wasn't a very impressive hive, for a Princess, but he'd seen her tiara and he didn't think this made any difference. Humans were odd about their hives, anyway. Something about ancestry.

“So you have some kind of bone to pick with Dirk, if I have you correct?” she was saying over her shoulder as she continued mixing ingredients with her back to him. She had instructed him to pull in a chair from the next room while she stood at the counter, and he sat stiff back against the opposite wall, intent on disturbing her at little as possible.

“Yes,” he replied curtly, trying for polite but only managing to sound like he was being short with her. He winced, but continued. “As the leader your session I thought it prudent to come to you with this problem, in order to avoid conflict between our two species.”

“Very responsible of you,” Jane said distractedly, measuring something into the bowl. This seemed to be the final ingredient though, as she then hefted the bowl onto one arm and turned to him as she began to stir.

“And what might the nature of this conflict be, Mr. Zahhak?” she inquired.

“He is making highly inappropriate advances on my moirail,” Equius told her bluntly, trying to impress upon her the urgency of the issue. “He is risking the stability of the group with his recklessness, to say nothing of the blatant lack of respect that it shows.”

“Yes that does sound serious,” Jane conceded, frowning as she continued to stir. “I'm afraid I don't have the best grasp on this quadrant business though. Perhaps you could explain 'moirail' to me again, if it isn't too much to ask?”

“Of course not,” Equius nearly bit his tongue resisting the horse pun, which he knew the humans did not appreciate. “Please forgive that I am not quite as eloquent in my understand as some among us, as I have not give the subject a great deal of study, and . . . do not often voice my private thoughts on such matters.”

“Just tell me what you know,” Jane insisted, smiling kindly. “Speak from the heart.”

That, Equius thought wistfully, sounded like something Nepeta would say.

“Well,” he began hesitantly, “like all quadrants, moirallegiance is believed to be ruled by destiny. However, fate is thought to hold more of a sway over this quadrant than any other, as many perfectly-matched moirallegiances seem to defy all logic.”

“Sounds like a lot of hooey to me,” Jane interjected, looking unimpressed.

“It is an integral part of our social system,” Equius insisted, puffing out his chest. “Indeed, many in our society cannot function without it. I myself am . . . particularly dependent upon my moirail to keep me stable.”

He didn't think that one had been too obvious.

Jane didn't look quite convinced. “Go on.”

“Like most highbloods, I am more prone to violence than most,” he explained. “My temper is particularly short, and I am . . . somewhat manipulative, at times. The purpose of a moirail is to soothe and calm these impulses until I can function safely in the presence of others.”

“Very interesting,” Jane nodded, looking thankfully less skeptical than before. For a moment he thought her eyes might have flicked to his left, but he may have imagined it. “Tell me, what exactly does a moirail do to soothe one's abnormally feisty temper?”

Equius considered for a moment. “Well, in order to keep emotions from becoming penned up, the more stable partner in a moirallegiance may initiate the occasional discussion of one's . . . feelings.”

Jane hummed and nodded, indicating for him to continue.

“A moirail may . . . give advice or correct certain misconceptions, and engage in activities that reduce one's stress level. In extreme cases where a frenzied emotional state has already been reached and uncontrollable violence seems imminent, they may perform a comforting maneuver that can quell even an exceptionally STRONG rage.”

Jane was smiling now, a sly, secret smile that made Equius think that there was something going on he didn't quite understand. This time he was sure she glanced to the left for a moment, but as she returned her attention immediately to him he decided against looking for himself.

“And, what does the more stable moirail get out of this equation? It seems like an awful lot of work to do just out of the goodness of one's heart.”

Here Equius shrank back into his chair. He had been hoping to avoid talking about this, the aspect of moirallegiance in which he had failed the most spectacularly. It was an important part of the relationship though, and an explanation could not go without it.

He resolved, then and there, that if he ever convinced Nepeta to give him another chance he would never fail her again.

“Protection,” he croaked. “The more, unstable partner offers their dedicated protection to the obviously softer, more innocent partner. They guard against threats, both physical and emotional, and vow . . . vow to look after their moirail, no matter the danger.”

“So, you think Dirk's been trying to muscle in on your territory, huh?” Jane prompted, setting down her bowl in favor of leaning on the counter and looking at Equius with a knowing expression.

“Yes,” Equius concluded, relieved to finally be getting to the heart of the matter. “His behavior towards Nepeta has been most inappropriate. I believe that he harbors pale feelings for her, and earlier today I heard them discussing the subject of moirallegiance.”

“Do you think Dirk needs the kind of help Nepeta could provide?” Jane asked.

“He admitted himself that he has made an udder mess of his romantic life!” Equius decried, slipping in a horse pun in his agitation. “His need of a moirail is not in question, and I overherd him say that he believes a successful moirallegiance is his only option for correcting some of his more egregious mistakes.”

“Did he now,” was Jane's inscrutable reply. She was smiling very widely now, and not even looking at him anymore in favor of whatever distraction was off to his left. Seeing that her focus was no longer on him, Equius turned to look also, and what he saw made his indigo blood run cold.

Well, colder than usual anyway.

Dirk Strider was standing in the doorway, looking small and hunched in on himself, and clutching Jane's red tiaratop in both hands. He was looking at Jane with a fragile sort of hope in his eyes, his shades for once perched on top of his head as though to illustrate his sincerity.

“I, uh, fixed it for you,” Dirk announced, holding the tiaratop out to her shyly. “It shouldn't pick up the Baroness's frequency anymore, so you can use it safely.”

Jane crossed the room to stand in front of Dirk, and he took a few uncertain steps to meet her halfway. She bowed her head slightly, and he carefully slipped the tiara down over her hair like a regent crowning an Empress.

“It works,” she remarked brightly, after a moment in which nothing seemed to happen except her and Dirk gazing into each other's eyes.

“I'm glad,” he replied, grinning in a way that seemed very unlike his normal cool demeanor. “I, uh, actually had something to tell you.”

Jane was positively beaming now. “I think it's something I want to hear.”

Dirk took one of her hands in both of his.

“Jane Crocker,” he began solemnly, “it has come to my attention that I care about you more than I care about the vast majority of people, human or otherwise, that are alive right now, and while I know that doesn't sound like much given that there are only like twenty, for me it is still a very special feeling. I've done my best to protect you as you need and deserve, and I never feel as calm or in-control as I do around you.”

He kissed her hand, and she giggled, and he grinned at her. “I am completely and unironically pale for you, Jane. Will you be my moirail?”

“Of course silly!” she cried, throwing herself into his arms. He picked her up and spun her around, both of them laughing.

From the doorway there came a deep, contented sigh, and Equius turned away from the gushy scene to find Nepeta standing just behind where Dirk had been moments before, watching dreamily as the two humans celebrated their new relationship.

“Nepeta!” he exclaimed, leaping to his feet. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to know that you've been pawfully silly,” Nepeta scolded. “How could you mink that I would efur be pale for anyone but my meowrail?”

“But I herd . . .” he trailed off, blinking at her in surprise as something like hope reared up in his chest. “You were soliciting a confession of pale feelings from him.”

“You are pawsitively ridiculous Eqkitty,” Nepeta replied, giggling as she pounced forward to hug him tightly around the middle. “I was just helping TT lap up the courage to tell his meworail how he felt about her.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Dirk interjected, he and Jane watching the two trolls while wrapped in each other's arms, her head leaned against his chest and his chin resting on the top of her head.

“You mean, you aren't going to break up with me because I udderly failed to protect you in the most deplorable way?” Equius protested in disbelief, staring down at Nepeta with wide eyes.

“I already furgave you for that!” Nepeta yowled, papping him vigorously on the cheek. “You would reclaw if you weren't too prepawcupied being such a gosh-darned silly face!”

Equius beamed toothily down at her, positively delighted by her lack of vulgarity. “I have been, haven't I?”

Nepeta nuzzled into his chest in confirmation, and he put his arms around her carefully, holding as tightly as he dared. “I'm sorry, Nepeta.”

“It's okay,” she replied easily, rubbing her cheek and forehead on him like a purrbeast leaving it's scent. “I furgive you. Again.”

“Well, now that we've sorted all that out,” Jane piped up, stepping out of Dirk's embrace and straightening her skirt. “Does anyone want to let me get back to my cake, so we can celebrate properly?”


End file.
